#first post 2026-04-23 [tag] rambling idk what to say... listening to four walls by f(x). i really liked listening to it when i was little. back then i cant lie and say i wasnt moved by amber. i thought "even if your in a dazzling girl group you dont have to hide your identity or dress a certain way!!." idk if amber really had any identity struggles but it still leaves a big impression on me seing such a boyish presentation from a girl group. similarily i almost cried while coming home thinking about cocona. im also pretty short so it makes me so happy seeing another super short boy haha. SO CUTE.. seeing happy transmen is really the best♡ in general as i get older i realize just more and more of how talented trans people are. once you realize everyone is chasing the trails of trans leaders.. WOW!! im thinking of what more i could add to this site... im not into abouts as it shouldnt be that easy to access lots of info about me (read my posts and youll find out quickly what kinda person i am lol) but i want to proudly show off my taste. i like to think im the coolest person, or maybe the coolest person ive personally known. but maybe being too secretive is a bad thing. im not THAT cool. so maybe thatll go on my more site info page im working on... just my favorite albums, video games, animes, and movies. i cant really decide what direction i want to take this blog in despite working on setting it up for so long. ive been thinking a lot about dead internet and how plain uncreative the internet has become in a lot of regards. i think id still want to post my thoughts and opinions on things that made a strong impression on me, but is a crappy blog post really gonna make anyone care? lately i find myself clicking on a video and within seconds i just ask myself "wait, who are you? why do i care about your opinion?" and the answer is that i dont so i turn it off. i think the same thing would be true of anything i posted here like im just some person on their pc yapping, i wouldnt expect anyone to actually care. so im wondering, how can i make people care? i think i need at least a little bit of a better camera and a new ssd. i have some ideas.. just have to go for it at some point orz. i really do have a lot of ideas!!! at some point im going to sound delusional but they cant say your crazy if your actually delivering sooo. but ive been really proud of my recent artwork. well ive got to go do msq. i have to catch up before they reveal 8.0 tomorrow. byeeeee! #EVERCOLD REVEAL!!! 2026-04-25 [tag] ffxiv EVERCOLD!!!!!!!! oohhhh.. SO EXCITED!!!! okay im going to try and get my initial thoughts out in a not very concise way but in more organized way. STORY
  • my off the rip crack theories are that we could potentially be the villain and that the giant creatures are actually cursed priests/people from the fourth. i dont have anything im basing this off of i just tihnk it would be really cool. im thinking draconification ala totk? the giant beasts are just beasts i know it. it has to do with all the gods being dead now and maybe thats what caused the freezing over of the fourth and these important people got turned or maybe even sacrificed themselves for some purpose (protecting the big crystals which are maybe holy places? were praying so hard at these crystals and whenever wol killed the last god it maybe these sites becomes the usherers of ice and those closest to it became these creatures?) moving into the "godless realms" saga is definetly something important to keep in mind. wol killed all the gods!! so i think this could also be a good chance to present the wol in an antagonistic light!! sooner or later we are gonna be fed up by everyone we meet kissing our ass so lets go ahead and start having people actively protest against the wol "helping(?)" in their affairs. also the title card "all the fourths a stage" is super interesting too. what could that mean? the trailer was presented as a story being told so it might have to do with the rlly important events having already happened like the ice spreading and the giants arriving. the stage has already been set and the actors already decided, we are just joining halfway through in the second act. the wol being badass was a main point of dawntrail and i think its time to focus on other characters being just as badass or important. not in a mentor kind of way like they were with wuk lamat but just actually not being as strong as they think they are. kind of related but i think its time for the wol to lose another important person in their life... not enough tragedy for me personally. my vote is for yshtola :D or just a really involved and intimate story between new npcs. i still really want a love story. i think the closest thing we have is emet and the wols love hate relationship so imagine that on the next level. like "you keep dying and i keep going to different worlds to find a shard of the one i love..." it could be reeally good. theres no info about the two mysterious au ras from the trailer obviously but i wonder if they could have this kind of relationship. if anything theres something there and I WANT TO KNOW!!!!!! the expac art is also super beautiful on a side note.
SYSTEM UPDATES
  • EEEEEEEPPP im VERY excited to see what the evolved modes for my fav classes entail!!!!! in general i think this reborn&evolved systems have a lot of promise. the team is tired of how things have been and want to change it entirely but ppl stubborn to change would probably quit the game if they got rid of the original toolkits entirely so this is a good compromise for those people. i cant WAIT to see how machinist, scholar, and ninja handle their evolved systems!! nin could be so beautiful now. if you dont play nin for a while relearning it is such a hastle bc its so reliant on memorizing all the ninjutsu combos. id be so happy if they made it a lot easier to jump back into if you dont play for a little bit. and SCHOLAR...!! oh fix her please. shes so bad. so bad. i miss you scholar. the main issue with it is the lack of instant heals and that its sheilds in general arent really strong so i think just giving it new ways to get more insta heals would do leagues for it. its practically unplayable in dungeons as of now TT they could make selene do a lot more too... like all aetherpact does right now is act as a regen but its on a gauge, so once the fairy gauge is empty... no regen for you! aetherpact could now be just on a gcd and once activated unlocks big instant heals like benediction with a shield added. and im thinking for machinist it could do something cool with the automaton. once your automaton is out that could be tied to overdrive instead instead of the two being seperate guage builds. im really excited to see more of this evolved system and have more freedom!!!
  • BYE BYE TOMES!!! I WONT MISS YOU EVER!!!!!!!!! this is also such a great update i cant wait for. as of now with the limited time i have to play (combined with having to be motivated to play too) filling up on tomes via rouls is just... not fun. you feel almost punished for not doing rouls&weeklies if you want to craft or do other things instead. i think you should still feel like your keeping up to date with battle stuff even if your not grinding for it spefically yknow? UGHHH AND THE HIGHEST ILVL REFLECTING ONTO OTHER CLASSES ?!?!?!?!? ACTUALLY GOATED CHANGE. now i wont have to feel bad for wasting my tomes on a high ilvl item that i wanted for glam but also happens to be a strong item!!! and if i want to play a mellee i dont have to slog it out to get a good gear set.. OUGGHHHH... this might be the best change icl. its actually gonna be possible to try out diff classes in such an easier and not punishing way!!! i feel so glued to my main sometimes but my ilvl is so bad on other classes i just have to play my main anyway to meet ilvl req... THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!!!!!!!
OTHER COOL THINGS IM HAPPY ABOUT
  • the unique animations!!! i kept joking "little quirks?!" but it really feels like that!!! its such a nice detail that they really dont have to do but it shows they really mean it when they want player freedom and expression to be a focus of theirs. im excited to see the demonstrations at berlin!! picking between if you want your wol to attack in an "aggressive," "flashy," or like their constantly scared to death for example is such a nice touch. its really, really unneccesary haha, so im really excited to see it.
  • EVA RAID?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! i dont think ANYONE was expecting this-- i certainly wasnt!!! what do you MEAN eva x ffxiv?!?!! i cant wait to see what they do. xiv has a lot of horror sprinkled throughout and seeing their style alongside evas is just gonna be so cool. we are definetly getting those plugsuit glams haha. ooh and an asuka hair style. im also interested to see how this ties into eva lore!!! like they cant put shinji in xiv... will they...? or will it be like a different timeline with different pilots? a lot of people would be dissapointed by that though so probably not haha. this is gonna be so interesting when we start learning more.
  • yay lets make public zones awesome!!!! i want them to be smaller but have more to do. solution 9 still makes me really sad with how big and cool it is but just how dead it is with barely any npcs and no real reason to be in other places either than the tomestone exchange or for story moments. this also applies to the zones so im excited they seem to be addressing this!!!
  • NEW PHYS RANGE!!! thats it. idk what it could be but im excited :D
  • gosh 8.0 is really about to be so awesome. if this is what we got just from the ANNOUNCEMENT i cant wait to see what we havent learned yet!!!!!! I LOVE FFXIV I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO BE COLD I WANT TO BE FOREVER COLD!!!!!!!!! #i love stupid anime 2026-04-26 [tag] anime while browsing some sites i found this adorable looking anime called cat planet cuties. i watched all of it over this weekend lmao. it was such a good time!! i have such a soft spot for playful ecchi and especially this kind where they prove again and again that the girls are way stronger than the main guy. watching manami and aoi pull out their huge ass guns but also fight while naked?! its so silly i cant help but laugh. but its not like they have to be naked to fight in some sort of "they can be fighters but in exchange have to be scantily clad" either cuz they fight in cool space suits or just their everyday clothing too. it reminds me of rosario vampire, my childhood fav ecchi. i loved it back then and when i recently rewatched with my fiance we were both screaming at how cool the girls all were while also being sexy and stupid haha. so it was almost kind of nostalgic seeing the same kind of thing happen here. i guess i just dont like when they pretend that the mc is cooler than he is when most times theyre more boring than plain bread, so if theyre gonna be useless just embrace it and let the girls shine!! my fav genres growing up watching anime were def ecchi and violence (i think i see the root of my afflictions now LOL) but theres still so many shows i never got around to watching. i want to watch more!! and indulge in pure otaku stupidness!!! before anything else i have to watch&start the monogatari series. it really does seem so up my alley. and there are other shows too that i think will be so stupid ill smile the whole time while watching. heavens lost property is next on my list, then maybe to love ru, and kiss x sis, are the ones i can think of off the top my head to watch next. there are just so many good anime i still have to watch. i think its most fun to just scroll and watch whatever immediately catches my eye. thats how i found cat planet cuties haha. but i dont really have more to say. just i like stupid anime :) #jealous monolouge 2026-04-27 [tag] rambling ugh i hate when my mood deflates and my motivation cant keep up with my brain. i think im approaching that nasty part of being an adult where jealously tries to overtake everything you do. you cant fully enjoy a song anymore or cant look at a piece of art anymore because you feel so disgustingly jealous. but i guess rather than wallowing in my anger its better to think of it like "even though im jealous i want what they have, i can just as easily grasp that dream for myself too." haha i could sit here and say how unlucky i am but really, what do i expect when i literally dont post anywhere LOL?! its so stupid and contradictory haha. thats why i was wondering if anything, if anything, i could post my art on xhs or tiktok. gosh its just so not my style haha. ive become to secretive but it really is no fun if your too secretive. i want nine months... nine months to do something awesome. anyway what gets you guys inspired? well im not short of inspiration but i reckon i need to go and address my mood fluctuation and motivation/actually do it problems. but anyway i always like to listen to music of course. but its hard to not be jealous im sorry!! haha its so humbling stating it so plainly but i dont really care to edit myself in these posts. usually electronic jpop does the trick for me. "free free" inspired a whole art project of mine that i did a year or two ago when i was last unemployed. i want to upload all those pieces here eventually. how do so many artists do it so easily? maybe im thinking to highly of myself. just sharing such raw raw pieces of your heart? i could think of it differently though... like theres someone out there that needs to see it as much as i needed to make it. is that how it can be too? art is so transactional these days... im not going to lie and say i dont wish that my art had gotten thousands of likes or whatever, but in the end i guess i didnt care too much about it anyway since i havent uploaded my art online in the last two years. its not to get attention but to just get it out there for that one person. so maybe its okay then? oh i need to read ciconia. "for you, the replaceable ones." i dont know the context of why the chapter is named that but its really beautiful. its like none of it even matters. but it was made for me and for you. ill keep trying my best. #when is it time to say goodbye? 2026-04-29 [tag] gaming, rambling ive been watching a lot of zelda speedruns and gameplay videos lately but theres been something on my mind for a few weeks now. ever since botw & totk came out the community has been effectively divided in half depending on if you like these games or not. most people generally do point out the most apparent issues like dungeons or story that makes these games so weak compared to their predecessors. other people find theres nothing wrong with these games. both are right. but most zelda content now centers around these ideas of whether or not botw(or more specifically totk) was ever good and what they want in the next zelda game. theres such a cloud of sadness hanging over it all though. id never been more in love with zelda than when it was loz wii u and i was watching hours long videos just looking at the map previews from gameplay demos, or when the botw sequel was announced and there were probably a hundred videos released about the zonai. despite totk being out for three years already theres no discussion about it on a lore or story level basis. no theories. the most recent videos on yt when you search "totk theory" are just a bunch of youtube shorts and the most popular ones are from a year ago or older. what i see now is just lore dumps and theories that have been shared over the last twenty years to the point that there is nothing new being added to the discussion at all. videos about majoras mask being the darkest game made, how its tragic (but not for the reasons you think), that, did you know, tp was made in response to critism against ww, or people just now realizing tetra loses her tan when she becomes zelda because she is being forced to be a person she is not. it all just makes me wonder if there really is nothing to talk about when it comes to the zelda series anymore until a new game is announced. oh and echoes of wisdom? yeah, barely anybody even played that game i think (it was awesome though). i mean, where are the videos talking about between link, ganondorf, and groose who has the biggest butt? what happened to the creativity! this is all part of a bigger problem im facing. i know ill be so excited when the next zelda game is announced. im not going to lie and say i wont cry and jump for joy. but i feel like all of this has led to a feeling of betrayal. there are no new good zelda videos because there is nothing left to talk about with zelda. and when it gets announced, will it conform to fans wishes or still go on its own path, leaving vetern fans to either get with it or just... leave it behind. they said they were bringing back dungeons in totk and they didnt, not in the way fans wanted. key items like the clawshots are still mia as zelda continues to change its identity. and im not mad, i dont think i am. more sad. age of imprisonment was a giant endeavour in pandering and trying, trying SO HARD to peak theorists interests with points that are never brought up again, and yet they werent and the games story and writing was bad and nobody talks about it. its just hard, since zelda is a series so many people have grown up and obviously have great expectations on it. but what the fans want cant always dictate the future of the series. i mean, it kind of worked with tp, but that game faced its own critism i think it is finally starting to come back up again compared to botw era. i dont know what im trying to say. i guess im just wondering when you say goodbye to something special to you. when is the moment you realize its no longer for you? i guess ill know when the next game is announced and i get to play it. #my life in may 2026-05-05 [tag] rambling cant believe i havent posted in may yet!!! well actually i can. i was busy the whole weekend betting on losing horses. i couldnt figure out what i wanted to talk about so ill do a little road map of what i want to do and acomplish this month. ive been going through a lot of mental strain recently so itll be good to list out some things to look forward to!!
    • i hope to finish steins gate. ive been really, really slowly reading it even though i think it has a lot of interesting stuff going on. im about 7/8 hrs in and im going so slow bc i read right before bed but im only managing 30 minutes of reading before i start falling asleep... if i can get back to reading for one hour i think itll help my experience a lot :3 my little tangent is what i think steins gate is. i think itll end up being a meta, fourth wall moment which if im right would be one of my favorites. one of the main themes is time travel and i think of reading as a time travel device. its 2026, but when im reading its 2010. doesnt that make me a time traveler? i am basing this off nothing but my personal preferences haha but im interested to see where the story goes
    • finish patho classic and start 3 too. i rlly like this series but ive also been going at it pretty slowly TT i love the world building and especially the graphics and designs of classic so its been real fun to play
    • i want to reboot my tiktok!! i had to hide all my posts on my current account for personal reasons but id really love to turn it into a positive and relaunch with new art and new ways of showcasing my art. on a side note, i dont think ill ever get over not posting in pretty much a year and one of the only comments i get on my newest post is that my art is goonable. the post didnt even show that much nsfw, just the bikinis cuz i cant rlly show much more, but because it was kind of censored why do i feel like i was hit on lol. regardless itd be good to get back to promoting my art in any way
    • i have to get my cosplays ready for the con!!! im gonna be doing a fem joseph joestar cosplay and maaayybeee an sdr2 character, idk yet. i need some boots and to bedazzle the back pockets on my pants, get some clackers to paint, and my wig. my mom is gonna make the scarf and headband for me!! i cant wait i love going to this con so much i cant wait to spend some time indulging myself entirely. i wanna get some manga, a new love live art book, capsule & perfume cds, and some figures. ive been holding off buying anything silly for this so im ready to go all out!!!
    • even though things have felt really tough for me i still have a lot to look forward to so im truly lucky to have these opportunities. theres still so much i want to do so i cant ever give up! its really tough but for now i have to endure it until i can figure something else out. it wont be forever so i have to remember to keep investing in myself whenever i can. i want to try and draw a little so ill leave it here! #lately music 2026-05-11 [tag] music music is one of my favorite things on the planet. to me its simply a blessing to be able to listen to all sorts of different kinds of music and dance. although truthfully music is one of my hugest mood triggers so there is a lot of music i have to avoid even if i like it a lot. but its what im in the mood for so i cant help it!! heres what im listening to these days:
      • im momentarily obsessed with charli xcx's new single SO NOW WERE MAKING RO-O-OO-O-O-O-O-O-O-OO-O-O-CK!! naturally i hated it at first but after two listens im sold. its so ridiculous my jaw falls to the ground every time i listen to it. like fabulously bad. i just wish it was longer but i think thats part of the joke is how short it is.. sux cuz i like the beat. it makes me curious for her current project ^_^
      • frost children's sister has been carrying me these past few months. i cant believe i hadnt heard about it when it released. why did no one tell me!! but i really like how angry and aggressive some of the tracks are like my fav of the album CONTROL and ELECTRIC but the more upbeat FALLING makes me really happy but also really sad. the music video for SISTER automatically went up on my list of fav mvs. it actually inspired me to make sure to collect all my favorite mvs. i have a secret. you listening? i like to imagine a world where i make really cool music videos too. even something as simple as two dolls in stop motion is impactful. im sure somewhere in me... i can do it too. but SISTER is such a fabulous album 10/10 actually
      • im also making sure to CRANK IT!!!!!! WROST GIRL IN AMERICA was also really turning off to me when i first listened because i was still yearning for mixtape slayyyter but really? this album just blows everything else away and i cant really listen to some of those older songs seriously lol!! those were cute, this is art. shes also just so fucking angry and it really resonates with me right now. but also really sad. i love CRANK IT, BEAT UP CHANEL$, and BRITNEY MURPHY the most off the album but all the tracks are pretty flawless ( i guess i dont rlly care for DANCE right now but itll probably change once im in the right mood). the music is awesome and i also love her style in general. in an interview she mentioned something along the lines of making this album with it potentially being her last, her mangum flopus if you could. and its just like WHAT?! even these super talented people put out their best work to date with fear of it being their last. thats so crazy but also inspiring to me. i guess itll never be over unless you let it be.
      • a lot of pinnochioP and watching his mvs. particularly common world domination. the mv is just so freaking dope its an absolute feast to me. all the bright colors, the skeletons, a little abstract, and how fast it all goes with the colors all flashing rapidly and so fast you cant understand it all AAAAAH. his lyrics are also so great too. i was watching the isnt it a mv and reading the lyrics hurts my heart a little because the words all resonate with me. they make total sense. i love the lyrics of utuber AND HOW COULD I FORGET I JUST HATE PEOPLE+?! THAT mv is a feast for my senses. the juxtaposition of the beautiful model dancing with an apathetic attitude, bright flashing colors, and flashy editing. i want to give my appluase to whoever made this mv. its a masterclass to me. i could inject it into my veins its that good. such creativity!!!! its so beautiful!!!!! and the song is just really good too (says it like an afterthought) but really i love the song itself a lot too. i dont think ill ever grow out of pinnochioP's music
      • U. its. U. i think ill get tickets to see underscores since shes touring soon. this album is so good its what kind of contributed to my intense anger and jealously. i mean its just THAT good. you cant help but want to be that good too. seeing someone completely in their element doing exactly what they were meant to do? its so beautiful. but i cant help these ugly feelings either. but its suuuch a good album. i love music the most from this album. the mv for it is really cool with the quick cuts and i love the ending scene of her backlit by the rainbow music notes... im married to the music, the music baby. and DO IT of course. fantastic.
      • other music things: i really like the girl like me mv. so fucking cool and inspiring. im liking aespas new single that just came out (WDA) and its a really cool song. my fav track of yves new ep is It. everything is inspiring. almost too much. ahh i see!! this is the pipeline to being a bitter grown up!!! ill keep trying so that i can maybe inspire another fustrated mid 20s catgirl to keep trying, even if shes really angry and is sad. #reve & aseul comeback ideas 2026-05-17 [tag] red velvet im very excited for the upcoming reve and aseul comebacks later this year so here are some fun made up concepts for them :3
        aseul film noir


        they would devour a film noir concept. i cant decide who should be the femme fatale or the hardboiled but im leaning towards why not both. one ver femme fatale irene and one version detective irene. oooh theyre trying to solveeachothers crimes but then they end up kissing each other and killing the guy for his money together in classic noir. typically seulgi gets casted as the butch but she deserves to wear a pretty dress too if she wants. them with guns is extremely unlikely especially bc its a japanese comeback LOL but something to hint towards weapons would work too, like threatening envelopes or stacks of cash. personally noir is just the next step in their artistry it feels so right for them.
        aseul faux love


        im also envisioning a lot of big fur coats and scarves with an extremely luxurious vibe. could be any kind of fur like just big black coats or leopard print would look rlly nice with velvet or satin dresses underneath. deep red, white, and black solid backgrounds would highlight these beautifully. i want the faux fur to play on fake or trick love/relationships and have the title track themed around this fake love.

        aseul red & blue


        while aseul has such a strong group identity i already played into with noir&faux concepts, it might be really exciting to see them experiment with some dramatic blue, red, and green lighting. i originally gathered these pics for my reve concepts but this would work for aseul too as a bit of variety in their luxurious image. could still be luxurious of course, just with a focus on this dramatic lighting

        reve hansel and gretel


        feel like this could be a liiitle predictable but i dont think theyve ever gone full out with a candy house with evil witch concept before. i guess cookie jar was a bit similar but this concept is more storybook esque. i think if they camped it up and wore outfits that looked like cakes and other desserts it would help it stand out more. they could still do something rlly cool with this though with highlighting the witch and that classic creepy cute reve touch

        reve love witch


        this one sort of pulls inspiration from one of my favorite films the love witch (2016). this concept would be extremely bright and saturated rainbows put up against black for a beautiful contrast. it could also be a little 50s/60s inspired with pop art influences in the outfitting, set design, and posing. but the highlight point of this concept is the bright rainbow up against black so that would be the focus of the colors.

        reve cat and mouse


        THIS ONE IM REALLY EXCITED ABOUT!! its themed around the expression "a game of cat and mouse" with a bright and cheerful spin on a detective chasing after a criminal. i couldnt find a lot of pictures exactly like what i had in mind, but im thinking these brightly colored backgrounds with caution tape, body outlines, and magnifying glasses decorating the scene. some of the teasers would be the girls with these hands pointing at them with text saying "was it me?" as the mv and concept photos are themed around each of the girls being a detective and trying to sniff out the criminal among them. it reminds me of russian roulette a little because i imagine animated sequences with a cat chasing a mouse as each member investigates each other. this one is my favorite out of the reve concepts i made up. it feels the most natural to me of what an imagined reve comeback could be like. plus the lyrics write themselves its literally chasing after the one you love and trying to catch them!!

        i had a lot of fun making these made up concepts. i wanna try doing something like this again in the future!! i wish i had comments so you could tell me your favorite and your made up concepts :( but im going to try and work on that so we can communicate on posts. but thank u for reading and bye bye!!
        #MOMOCON 2026!! 2026-05-25 [tag] personal I LOVE MOMOCON SO MUCH!!!!! i love going and having fun with my awesome wonderful fiance every year ♡i wanted to share my experience this year since i have my blog! also i know the pics from my digicam have the wrong date... i need to fix it ;;orz

        precon


        in con tradition i waited until the day before the con to work on my important stuff like my wig and pants. this year i was planning on going as part 2 joseph! i was really stressed about the wig before i got into doing it since his hair is spikey and i detest working with wigs. this was a pic of me using hair spray cans to prop the curls up to get those spike shapes. i think if anyone is trying to do joseph i would just say his hair isnt a perfect style so just make it messy haha. my mom gave me the idea to put glue in it and honestly that helped a lot (my mom always clutches for me). josephs pants are just plain skinny jeans but that wasnt enough for me so this was my wip of bedazzling the back pockets. i was worried it would ruin the pants but they turned out soooo awesome hehe. but those were my precon preperations! my mom (once again my goat) made my scarf for me and i finished dying my jacket for day 1 before so these were the last things i had to do ^_^

        day 1


        so for day one me and my fiance went as new york joseph and part 4 joseph respectively! he really killed it with his outfit haha i loved seeing people compliment him and stuff. not a lot of people recognized me but the real part 2 fans did lol. i just really love joseph, hes probably my favorite jojo, and his nyc outfit was easy enough to get together two weeks before the con. we spent friday grabbing most of (my) stuff that i wanted to buy. why were the lockers not on the vendor floor this year though?? it took us forever to find them and by the time we did we decided it wasnt worth it and managed to carry my stuff in my bag. we did find the game hall though while looking for the lockers since this also moved and played a few games at the arcade. we werent planning on staying long on friday anyway so we took it easy and im sorry for getting angry we couldnt find the lockers...


        i also made sure to check out the wonderfest. i saw some really cute figures there but i felt a little bit let down i cant lie... maybe i was expecting more gks being sold? or just more displays in general? its the first time wonfes is in the us though so im sure itll grow and figure out how to be better in the future years which is exciting.

        day 2


        our big day was saturday!! we went as part 2 scarf joseph (his main outfit) and part 3 joseph. a lot of people thought our concept of being two josephs was really cute and I AGREE! lol. but i felt really sexy i cant lie and it was all because of those bedazzled pants. I MEAN LOOK! they turned out so good and im really happy i went for it. we always do the jojo photoshoot and this year was no exception. we didnt stay for some of the later categories but im excited to see the photos when they get posted!! i know for part 2 at least we were able to recreate joseph crying out for ceasar as dead ceasars lay on the ground in front of us haha. there were a lot of diegos this year too and more gappys too!! and soo many mistas haha. honestly probably more mistas than buccirattis LOL which is crazy cuz i feel like there were always more of him in the past. mistas design is awesome though so i cant complain. we also played a lot more games at the arcade and i found the retro game tables! i didnt know they had those so we sat down and played some melee and other fighting games at the tables. the rest of the day we finished walking through the vendor and artist alley! i only bought a print today but my fiance bought some pokemon figures for me too.


        this is the second year we've done the emo hour decoden workshop and in my opinion (as someone who doesnt do workshops) its the best one. the hosts are always really nice and this year we got to have picture frames to decorate! the pic in it rn is us from two years ago when we did trish and mista since i had an extra picture on hand. and they always let us take home extra materials so im kinda thinking of inviting family over and having my own decoden party... its just so cute and fun. we ended the night going to a jojo burlesque show nearby and i wont be posting pics for obvious reasons but let me tell you. there was something special about that diego tail wagging around.... BUT IT WAS SUCH A FUN DAY UGHHHH i love momocon so much


        heres all the stuff i got :D i rush to retro saikou every year theyre my favorite vendor. im trying to collect sif artbooks so i was really happy i was able to grab another one that i dont have yet! im also im a big sdr2 mood so i had to get the art book when i saw it... i owe it to myself after being a fan for all this time haha. there were no higurashi chapter cds (i have tsumihoroboshi & matsuribayashi cds) so i settled with a drama cd. will it be functionally useless to me? yes. but as far as higurashi merch things like these are the only kinds that are in a reasonable price range until the moe bubble pops and we can buy figures in peace again lol. i made sure to grab the more more more cd as i saw this last year but wasnt a big fan yet, and a perfume album. i also found so much higurashi manga!!!! i was so excited since i havent been able to find any at a good price. maybe im just not looking in the right places? but regardless i was really excited to pick these up! the last thing i got was this red velvet print by @hanavbara since i thought it would be beautiful with my album collection. the chibi vampire manga, red flavor, and monster albums all came from depop but i got them close enough to momocon that im counting them in my merch haul haha

        i love momocon so much and this was really fun to write and recount the weekend with. im already thinking of who i should cosplay for next time!!
        #i miss tloz 2026-06-09 [tag] rambling, gaming ok i have the clown hat on. my nose is red and squeeky and so are my oversized shoes. yes i foolishly went into the direct today hoping for news about the next zelda game. its my fault for hoping for something new. i am not saying that this game shouldnt exist (i mean, it shouldnt, but regardless it does) but rather im so much more offended that this is what nintendo had for their big show ender reveal. i know, never go into directs hoping for anything because their track record of dissapointment seems to know no bounds and its our faults for wanting new video games in a video game presentation. i wouldnt have really cared if this was announced if it wasnt being hailed as the second coming of jesus. in my ideal world there was a 10 minute segment for zeldas anniversary with a trailer for the movie, the oot teaser, and, if a teaser is too much to ask for, just confirmation that the next zelda exists somewhere out there. that was it. delusional? definetly. but im not defending a billion dollar company. make better business decisions already.
        i really dont want to be negative or upset but i am. i feel like somewhere along the line we really did end up in the worst outcome of capitalism. remake, remake, remake. i can not care about an oot remake. i dont care how pretty itll be, how itll expand upon the lore, how characters may get proper development and characterization-- i can not care. because i keep going back to the thought that, right now, as im typing, the discussion could have been about a whole new game. i wouldve rewatched the teaser as many times as i could asking myself, "is this still hyrule? are we in a new world? is that the new villain? hey what does this text translate to? did you see they made link and zelda hold hands?" i mean, so many possibilities just vanished in front of me. its so dissapointing. link will leave kokiri forest just like he did 30 years ago, ganon will gain control of the sacred realm just like he did 30 years ago, and zelda will be sheik, just like she was 30 years ago. why? why did they think that this deserved to be their big reveal? it feels like such a slap in the face. i really thought for 2 seconds that this was it-- it was the new zelda. but its not. and it sucks.
        a year ago on my old blog, the last post i made before retiring it was about this very problem. the post is focused on the obsession for zelda remakes and ports, particularly tp and ww, but it extends to oot (and mm a little) as well. i can not be excited for a remake of a game that i already played on my ds 15 years ago, that came out 30 years ago, that can be played freely with emulators, played officially with nso subscriptions-- when does it stop? in another 30 years will people still suck oot off and beg for its fourth remake on the nintendo hulahoop?! at least be original and beg for a spirit tracks remake, a game that is obstentively "trapped" on old hardware and is outright ignored in most conversation and bring in new fans and old fans. where is that remake? it feels so bleak. and the worst part is is what this means for the next zelda game. so this is slated for 2026 ,hich is crazy considering its june and they only showed two seconds of it, but ok. this is the zelda game for 2026. if we believe that NEW as in NEW zelda game is announced next year, at the very EARLIEST they would give themselves a year of cushion between announcement and release. this means the next NEW zelda game wont come out until 2028 at the earliest. i mean what the hell are we doing? do they just not care about what any fans have to say? or do they only care about fans that blow smoke up their asses? people have been begging for new zelda, with many people wanting to leave hyrule and ditch ganondorf and zelda entirely ala links awakening or majoras mask, and here they are doing the exact opposite. THE EXACT OPPOSITE IN EVERY WAY!! except for dungeons i guess. we want dungeons back. but not like this. NOT 20 MORE YEARS OF WATER TEMPLE DISCOURSE YOU PEOPLE HAVE TO MOVE ON!!!
        when i was a kid zelda was my favorite game series in the world. i remember that i got skyward sword on or around release. i replayed it a lot. when i wanted to play twilight princess on the wii i had to track down where our copy went and get my brother to get it back from his friend he lent it to. i was obsessed with the multiplayer game in phantom hourglass and would sit by the window in the living room to better connect with other players. and i played the oot and mm remakes on the 3ds. but the difference is now is that not only is zelda in a very precarious situation following totk, but im supposed to be more excited for a remake of a game that already has a remake rather than wanting something new. i know the next zelda is in production and ill keep saying that ill be excited to play it. of course i will. however this hype beast of the oot remake just isnt restoring any lost faith in the zelda team and is in fact actively harming that trust. all i want is something new for this series that has come to a grinding halt since 2017, with a small blip in 2023, and AN UNDERAPPRECIATED EVEN SMALLER BLIP IN 2024. THEY CAN DO IT! EOW PROVED IT! SO WHY AM I STILL SO BETRAYED!!! why did they improve on botw substantially and just let it die. well its not just on them the fans let it die. i should make a post about how cute a game eow is and how it really felt like a ds zelda game of my childhood.
        nobody likes a complainer. im going to play other games. im actually playing minish cap for the first time now! i love the graphics and music so much. im also playing nier automata! i first played when it came out and i liked it but i really do feel like a lot was lost on me back then or it just didnt click. maybe it wont click again, who knows. but im having a lot of fun playing though it, even if it makes me really sad. im trying to collect every triple triad card in ffxiv. i think i got 5 today? but it took about an hour or so and im only 1/3 way through the card list. there will be more games to play. more series to immerse myself in. none of them will be able to replace zelda, but i can at least forget about it for a while and play games that make me happy right now. i miss tloz. maybe its dead, maybe its not. its ok to hold a funeral. there will be more games #i redid my shelves! 2026-06-10 [tag] personal this is probably very overdue but i didnt realize it was needed until my momohaul totally threw my collection over capacity. i was honestly putting it off because i didnt want to buy a new shelf, but who cares, i needed one now and i dont feel like hunting for anything vintage so this will be good for now!

        this is kind of what i started out with. my phone camera cover is broken so it looks slightly haunted. i think what i was most upset with my old setup was the pile of plushies (not pictured) that sat on the ground in the corner. i have a few really large squishmallows and a couple of smaller plushies that sat on top of them because i just ran out of space to put them anywhere better. i also needed more room for my red velvet collection which is almost complete now! and for all the new manga i got in may.

        the new shelf! sadly it does have a superficial crack on the side ill need to secure with some wood glue, but it wasnt deep and i didnt feel like driving back out to get a new one. itll be okay! the first to move in was red velvet. i think im happy with having one be for rv albums and another be solo & duo projects. i actually dont have many rv solo albums. i really want baby not baby and then i think love splash. i actually did buy a copy of 28 reasons secondhand but it ended up never shipping and i got a refund. lil sad but ill get another one next time. i also really wanted to show my higurashi collection. its very modest but im happy to see it slowly growing. aside from figures i think itd be really cool to get every chapter on cd (i already have matsuribayashi & tsumihoroboshi) and artbooks. art books are my favorite thing to collect! id also love to expand it to be an 07th expansion shelf. truth be told, i like umineko just a liiiitle more than higu but merchandise of umineko is so much more rare and hard to get so i sadly have nothing! oh what id do to have a beato and battler plushie, a beautiful beatrice gk, the beato dollfie... ahh!!!! when im rich youll know!!! speaking of art books, i have about five love live art books.

        my favorite one is this one that has a lot of art work from i think 2017 all the way back to the debut days. i remember always looking at old love live artwork online, they made great screensavers, so its really cool to physically own copies of them. thats also why i really like getting the sif artbooks. if i cant get them in a mobile game ill just get them in real life!! i was actually hoping (once again) id find a copy of this sifas artbook at momocon, but alas. its just a really big artbook and will probably hike up shipping costs, but ill get it one day.

        another thing in my room i wanted to fix was my lego display. my fiance has given me so many cute legos over the years but my display for them was incredibly shoddy and could only fir about half of them. with this new shelf all of them can come out, and i also remembered i had these not so main 5 ponies stored with them! i actually set up a mlp display with my ponies and figures so they went into the neighboring cubie with my pinkie pie plushie. all the legos got a nice bath and its off to new and improved lego land! and actually the whole thing is new and improved!

        this is how it all turned out! with the additional space i can now have displays for higurashi, red velvet, love live, and mlp! (im ignoring loz because we are going through a divorce right now). and i love how lego land turned out. the shelf itself perfectly holds all my other things like my dvds, cds, and other books. theres also a lot of space for my plushies to go so theyre not all on the ground. and even though my big squishmallows are still on the ground they feel more purposeful in their placement. really i just kind of wanted to show off some of my collections, heh. and show off the things that i love!! my last post was a downer so i wanted to talk about things that i love. i wanna collect even more!! a fata morgana art book, the rosario vampire box set, id even love to get more physical boxes of vns! one day ill have my own special room specially for all my special collections! itll be so great!! but i really like my shelves for now. #flowers for g[a]ming 2026-06-23 [tag] gaming i didnt dissapear, ive been playing copius amounts of nier automata! hi everyone thank you for coming and checking on me. did anyone miss me so badly they just couldnt stand it? yeah i know it must have been tough. but i have been playing a lot of games these days! namely i started my replay of automata a few weeks ago with the steam version. i say replay but its almost like playing it entirely blank. i feel like in the very back on my memories i remember when this game came out. i knew it was really popular so i wanted to try it out. with the grace of my brother letting my borrow the ps4 (if it stayed in the living room) i was set to go. fast forward to today and now i wanna replay so i can get into all of drakenier. OMFG I FORGOT EVERYTHING!!! the game is just gorgeous hands down. im not super used to playing console games on my pc (my pc is an mmo machine) but being able to see the details up close has been a lot of fun. and i love the music. i completely forgot about entire segments like the kaiju battle at sea, and at that point it really hit me. who is this world even for anymore? are the humans even going to be able to salvage anything from this broken wasteland? i know they are probably dead, but just the thought is so sad. the world is unrecognizable at this point, so why do we keep fighting? is it worth it to fight? WHAT are we even fighting for? is it for love? to live? to win? i really adore this conversation the game is having with the player even from the very beginning where once you enter the city its filled with pacifist machines instead of the ones you spent the whole intro killing. its so in your face that its almost obnoxious but you come back around to wanting to kill everything cuz the combat is so good but u cant because its just not right. 2b and 9s are really cute too. i just got the first ending a few days ago and im excited to try and get all the rest. i dont think ill get all of them but at least a good few. im defo trying to do all quests and get all collectibles so yay!
        in other small updates, im trucking along in stiens gate. i cant lie, its kinda not clicking for me at the moment. im in chapter 6 or 7 with lukako right now. ever since the first time leap ive been kinda... meh. i cried and was moved by mayuris first death scene, but after a while i lost a lot of care. im sure its gonna bite okabe in the ass, but right now in this chapter im just indifferent to the plot. if he messes up he will go back and try again, so the stakes have vanished. like i said im sure something is eventually going to go wrong but its just making this part a bit of a slog. ill keep reading though!
        ive also picked up a most ambitious side quest in xiv... OBTAINING ALL TRIPLE TRIAD CARDS!! right now i am at 159/475 and ive gotten i think around 30 of those the past two weeks. im trying to make sure to document all the npcs im fighting but i am NOT looking forward to cards behind duties at all. but ill get to that when i do! its been a lot of fun flying around and collecting the cards though. im gonna go back and add pics to this post later!! bye for now! #mid year look back 2026-06-29 [tag] gaming, anime thought since its the midpoint of 2026 it might be refreshing to look back on all the different things ive read, played, and experienced so far! i really set out to experience a lot of different stories this year... i still have a long way to go!! this will have UNMARKED SPOILERS for the titles in question, so look away if you dont want to be spoiled!! but ive marked off quite a few things from my list already like... the house in fata morgana (2016)! theres so much i could say about this story but nothing will do it justice besides just telling you to read it if you havent already!! this story is honestly the closest thing to a contemporary epic ive ever read. i would love to write a comparative analysis between this story and umineko, centering around how each story uses gender, love, and witchhood to convey their stories one day. i think often about the compelte turnaround the story has after the fourth door and the reveal of michel. i think about his and giselles story often. a man that was killed in such a brutal and transphobic manner only to be loved back into existence. morgana who shattered her own soul but had no one to love it back to one piece, other than michel who cannot return her love the way she needs. i adore the theme of identity throughout this story. what lengths we go to protect our sense of self, or rather, the lengths we go to to deny our sense of self. losing oneself, finding oneself. and an absolutely beautiful ost. my heart aches just thinking about this story. it hurts so badly. there was so much pain and hurt in this story. but there was a lot of forgiveness to be had, and making amends with that frightful past. 10/10. no notes.
        all purpose cultural cat girl nuku nuku (1990)! im a sucker for catgirls. who can blame me. the idea of android catgirls has a lot of merit, and even though this isnt the kind of show to explore the implications of cat girl androids, thats what im here for! what is the purpose of nuku nukus life? what was she born for? to be a soldier? so why themed after a cat? what good is a soldier with the intelligence level of a cat anyway? im getting off track but i love this kind of stuff in regards to cat girls. the ova itself was a really good time and was short and sweet. i did try to watch the anime that released following the ova but had to drop it halfway through on account of being awful. but i did laugh a lot while watching the ova, talk about stereotypical 90s anime to the point of satire but its played full serious. its kind of horribly unoriginal in that way but it was still a fun watch.
        pathologic 2 (2019) and pathologic classic (2005)! i had a lot of fun playing this game with my bff. i was really invested in the story about artemy and the kin, how the town is dying but it has to be reborn anew. and even though there are a lot of survival elements (and trust me, i did die a lot) it plays a lot like a visual novel with really beautiful prose and covert options to change the outcomes of specific characters. artemeys whole arc revolving around looking towards the future and protecting the kids and being dada... that stuff made me so happy! but truthfully i think i fully prefer classic. the atmosphere is off the CHARTS! i love the weird soundtrack and the crusty old 3d models, the weird textures in the house and the beautiful paintings. i actually need to really finish my playthough of classic, i got close to the end but due to things coming up i had to put it down for a while. when i do, ill definetly have to do claras route and then move onto patho 3!
        alien 9 (1999)! i reeally liked this show. i felt so bad for yuri because she was just so delicate and was always crying. but really, all the girls in that show went through a lot and its not really addressed. the art style and soundtrack were great. this is one of those ones where id love to read the manga to find out what happens because it really does leave you right in the middle. i feel like there was still so much to know and see these characters go through. it is an ova though so i cant fault it for not being longer, such is the nature of ovas.
        sdr2 (2012)! NO THIS IS NOT MY FIRST TIME PLAYING IT! i introduced my fiance to danganronpa and i watched him play the whooole thing so im counting it here! i had so much fun watching him play and react to all the crazy shit in this game that changed my life 14 years ago. his favorites were mikan, ibuki, sonia, and chiaki and i just had to smile... im so glad at least sonia lived for him. and now hes a full on danganronpa fan! it was so amazing to get to share this part of myself with him and he actually take outside interest in it so that is a very special experience. now we can theorycraft for 2x2 together!!
        destroy it all and love me in hell (2023)! i need to get back on my crazy yuri kick. i read this at the very beginning of january and read all of it so i think only three or so chapters have come out since then. i really liked the dynamics between kurumi and naoi! its so toxic and bad it makes my heart race and my feet start kicking. im really bad at keeping up with stories that are in progress, so hopefully by putting this here ill check in on it in a year or two. im not sure if it got official licensed yet or not, but i do like it enough to buy the manga were it ever to release in english. just pure evil and girls kissing. whats not to love.
        cat planet cuties (2010)! MORE CATGIRLS!! i had a lot of fun with this show. me and my fiance watched it so quickly it only took about 3 days all together i think. pure anime shit. and CATGIRLS. i loved the diversity in catgirls especially, like the sensei type with glasses and the rei ayanami clone. the love triangle with aoi, eris, manami, and kio didnt even come off as annoying to me because the girls were badass as hell and he became their cute little accessory. and he became a CATBOY at the end of the show?! WHERE IS SEASON 2?! i really love silly anime like this and i want to add the blu ray to my collection. eventually, ill have all the catgirl animes in my collection... for research of course!
        i cant think of anything else for now. it kind of doesnt seem like a lot doesnt it? but regardless im really happy with the different stories and characters ive met this year. ive been reading stiens gate since april and thatll get finished this year, and im mid playthrough of nier automata, so im always looking for new stories to immerse myself with. there was of course a lot of movies and new music i found this year, but itll take too long to list them all. just know i love u by underscores, sister by frost children, and worst girl in america by slayyyter. oh, and im really excited for charli xcxs new album! after i finish nier and stiens gate im going to tackle a lot of shorter stories, like zato (2025), the moon looks beautiful tonight (2026), maid cafe on electric street (2024), and yunyun syndrome ryhthym pyschosis (2026) before hopping back into longer titles. those are gonna be gnosia (2022), nier replicant (2021), and drakengard 3 (2013). as for shows, lets just pray i get around to sitting down and watching monogatari like i keep saying i will!! #xiv ren faire! 2026-07-02 [tag] gaming, ffxiv oh wow, was it already two weeks ago? well, i just wanted to finally gush a little bit more about the ren faire event held in sophia on june 20th organized by S0LSHINE. i havent been to a real rp event like this in a while. i think the last time i did was for the mlp play productions, if anyone can remember those from a few years ago. but typically the rp in general in this game isnt super appealing to me or i just havent found the right communities. im not really into going into clubs or pubs or any other kind of ub... especially in the mist. dont talk to me about the mist. but the ren faire? oh it was PERFECT!
        i really liked that it was held outdoors, i think that added a lot of atmosphere to the entire event. i feel like subdivisions and housing can go so underutilized for community events like this. i didnt even know you could swim in the water in lavender beds until now! and plus, being ren faire themed, lav beds was the perfect choice. the bards playing were all really good and played actual bard music and not shitty sounding midis. and the character npcs!!! i only got a picture with alphie and allie and they were sooo cute!!! i love the idea of npcs being at these events i think it adds so much dedication to this being ffxiv and not just another mmo. like wow. theres alphinaud who i always talk to in msq having a go at it at the faire! its so cute to me.
        all the little events being held were really cute, like flower tarot, jousting, face painting, there were even some artists selling commisions there! my favorite was the flower tarot, i got a cute blue bracelet to match my outfit. the jousting went on for a while and even though i wasnt paying too much attention i could tell everyone was having a grand ol time in shout chat. on and the dress up contest!!! if anyone knows me they know that i love glamour, dress up games, and glamour contests! i live for this stuff! and even though i didnt win i won in my heart and it was fun to participate. all my friends voted me number 1 and i only truly care about their opinions so who cares anyway heart. LOL. but seriously, i want more glam contests. reminds me of pixie hollow when i was a kid. for the faire i was playing as a blue fairy that grants wishes. i dont think i really granted any though. i was too busy eating an ice cream sundae. THERE WAS ALSO A LITTLE IDOL PREFORMANCE!!! IT WAS SO CUTE AND CHEESY!!!!! oh i love seeing everyones little chat bubbles light up. we are all on our pcs playing this silly game having fun together.

        but what really made it the most fun was hanging out with my best friends. walking around and looking at everything makes me so happy. its little events like this that make it so that we can experience something we cant together irl. we all made really cute outfits to go with the faire. and my fiance was even able to come! i was really happy to share this part of xiv with him. i think we all spent the whole night there. it was so fun i dont think any of us wanted to leave the positive atmosphere and tredge back to limsa after so much fun. but im looking forward to more events like this!! this is my favorite type of player made event so i really want to go to more in the future. right before my bday there is another one so if you see me there tell me ur from neocities! i dont bite, not anymore now that i changed my search info of 3 years. ill end with a few more random pics from the event. i love xiv!!